Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

CrazySugarFreakBoy!
Sun Jun 25, 2006 at 03:06:13 am EDT
Subject
Believe It or Not, I’m Walking on Air … (Tie-In to Untold Tales of the Lair Legion #274: Dreams and Fantasies)
[Reply] [New] [Edit] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]
 		Next In Thread >>

Believe It or Not, I’m Walking on Air … (Tie-In to Untold Tales of the Lair Legion #274: Dreams and Fantasies)


April Alice Apple and Jay Boaz waited and watched the summer sun set over the hilly horizon, from the six-story-high observation deck of the Wellpinit Mountain Lookout on the Spokane Indian Reservation, sharing an uncertain silence as the treetops and valleys were painted autumn hues by the dying day’s last light.

“This is awkward,” April eventually admitted. “You’re my boyfriend’s best friend, but I know next to nothing about you, except that you and I are in love with the same guy.”

“I wouldn’t say I ‘love’ him, exactly,” Jay parsed.

“Oh, please,” April dismissed. “You’re so obviously yaoi for each other, it’s adorable.”

“Do I want that translated?” Jay winced.

“In anime and manga, yaoi is when two or more bishounen, cute boys, have the hots for each other,” April elaborated with a labored sigh. “You know, like Kirk and Spock on Star Trek, or Doctor Who and Capt. Jack Harkness.”

“Except that none of those characters are gay couples,” Jay contended.

“Yeah, you need to read more slash fan fiction online,” April countered.

“No, based on what you’re saying, I really don’t think I do, thanks,” Jay declined. “Do you have any idea why Dream invited us both up here?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” April confessed. “Ever since he pulled off his Death and Return of Superman stunt, he’s been even more of a space cadet than usual. Every time he heads out into the great beyond, he dances that much closer to the edge, and I’m always afraid that, even if I do manage to pull him back from the brink, his mind will finally wind up being so scrambled by his experiences that he’ll start doing stuff like declaring himself the World’s Wisest Human and setting up a Web site devoted to Nature’s Harmonic Simultaneous Four-Day Time Cube.”

“You are all educated singularity idiots!” Dreamcatcher Kokopelli Foxglove pronounced as he ascended the stairs, inspiring a groan from April, as she rolled her eyes, and a grunt from Jay, as he clutched his temples. “Welcome to my dad’s old forest fire lookout.”

“Your dad was in the forest service?” Jay deduced.

“He wasn’t always the tribe’s sheriff,” Dream shrugged. “Back when I was just a little kid, and him, me and my mom were all living on the Rez together, this was what he did.”

“This was where you grew up,” April grasped.

“My earliest memories are of learning to walk on these wooden floors,” Dream recalled. “Twin Peaks was town, and it was a drive. Every day, I’m learning a little bit more about what it is that I’m becoming, but I’ll never let go of where I’ve come from, because it’s who I still am, and always will be.”

And with that, Dream literally swept April off her feet, eliciting a surprised squeal from her as he hefted her up, like a bride about to be carried across the threshold.

“Do you trust me?” Dream checked, his eyes wide.

“Wait, what?” April wondered, shaking her head.

“Do you trust me?” Dream repeated his prompt.

April paused, then smiled. “Yes. I trust you.”

Dream flashed a broad grin. “Then trust me now.”

And with that, Dream took a running leap off the edge of the six-story-high deck, with April still cradled in his arms, leaving them both to freefall toward the ground below.

April heard someone screaming before she realized it was her, and even as she continued screaming, she realized that she could also hear what sounded like … Paranoia Agent?

The ground came rushing up at them, but before they could collide with it, April felt a sudden lurch and saw the ground and sky spin around her, until the horizon leveled out.

Dream was still holding her, but they weren’t falling anymore. The forest rushed past beneath her and behind Dream, who was trailing a day-glo yellow streak in his wake.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Dream beamed. “I’ve got you.”

“You’ve got me?” April exclaimed. “Who’s got you?”

“Are you out of your mind?” Jay shouted, finally catching up to the pair in mid-air.

“Relax, man,” Dream reassured his friend. “If I’d been wrong, you would have caught me.”

“You can fly?” April gaped. “My boyfriend can fly.”

“Well, kind of,” Dream equivocated. “I mean, I can, but it takes a lot out of me, which is why I need to load up on sugar and caffeine beforehand, like, even more than usual. I can also use whatever momentum I have going into the air to power my flight, which is why I let us fall for a few seconds, to build up some extra energy. Without those boosts, though, the best I seem to be able to do is float, glide, or sort of … swim through the air, all of which are way slower than just running -”

“Shut up,” April cut him off, her finger to his lips. “I don’t care if you sail through the skies like Peter Pan, or crash-land when you come down like the Greatest American Hero. You can fly, and you’re being retarded if you can’t see how cool that is.”

Dream considered this briefly, then burst into a fit of giggles and executed a barrel-roll, rapidly outpacing Jay and startling April into emitting another squeal, as the song “Yume no Shima Shinen Kouen” blared from his Walkie-Talkie Watch.

“What is that, a bird?” Gwendolyn Leslie spotted, as she gazed into the sunset.

“Moving too fast,” Louis Laughing Fox squinted. “Has to be a plane, or else -”

“HEY EVERYBODY, LOOK AT ME!!!” Dream bellowed as he boomed overhead. “I’M SUPERMAN!!!”

“Oh my God,” Meggan Foxxx gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth. “He can fly now.”


K-Box's Sanity Assassins Forum



24-113-2-15.wavecable.com (24.113.2.15) U.S. Company
Microsoft Internet Explorer 6/Windows XP (0.1 points)
[Reply] [New] [Edit] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]
Follow-Ups:

Echo™ v3.0 alpha © 2003-2006 Powermad Software
Copyright © 2004-2006 by Mangacool Adventure